category: Inappropriate things people say to me

Can’t stand the excitement

February 18th, 2009 @ 7:46 pm | Comments (1)
Filed: Inappropriate things people say to me, My glamourous life, Philly | Tags:

I would update my blog more, but the only interesting story I can bring the fire circle is one about getting  into the shower after a good workout on Monday still wearing my sports bra. And it took me a second to figure out what didn’t feel quite right.

Other things of note:

  • I’m still car shopping but if Monday’s excursion to three dealerships is any indication, it’s going to be a loooong process. Two salesmen tried to sell me OTHER things - one on the idea of buying a house (which, if I am this indecisive about buying a $20,000 car, can you imagine what it’ll be like when I buy a $150,000 home?) and the other made a valiant pitch for his friend’s restaurant. The third salesman wasn’t even really a salesman but an intern. Gee, I wonder why the auto industry is struggling.
  • A woman who works for another company on my floor asked me in the bathroom if I’d had my baby yet. Um… no. Also? Ouch. We’ll just blame it on confusing me with my two recently postpartum coworkers.
  • Last night a group of us met at a friend’s condo in Center City Philadelphia. By the end of the evening the friend had 10-plus women coveting her amazing home which was not only an ultra-modern recently converted warehouse but was stylishly decorated and had amazing views of the city. To say it was beautiful is an understatement. What’s not beautiful is that her monthly rent is more than my bring home pay.
  • BlogHer rejected me as a volunteer for the upcoming conference. Is anyone going this year? I’m thinking about it if I can find a roommate.

I hope your weeks have been more exciting than mine…

I’m not the only one

October 30th, 2008 @ 6:06 pm | Comments (0)
Filed: Celebrities, Inappropriate things people say to me | Tags:

 Omar Gaither

One of the perks of my job is meeting NFL players. So far this year I’ve met two Cardinals (which isn’t just a baseball team BTW), Eagle Sheldon Brown and recently “retired” John Lynch. Earlier this week I was at a photo shoot with Omar Gaither from the Eagles. The promotion is centered around getting kids to eat breakfast so there were seven students of various ages from first to eighth grades.

While they were sitting around the table “modeling,” first grader J looked at Omar and said, “You have a funny nose.”

How horrible is it that my first thought was that at least other people hear inappropriate comments, too?

A couple weeks ago I saw or heard something about a draft for a new women’s football league. I joked with a friend, who loves the story and frequently references it, that a big girl like me should try out. After seeing yet another picture where I’m almost as tall as an NFL player, maybe I should.

Rereading that post reminded me that I looking for a meeting room Temple University last month when a student selling mark complimented my blush (that I never wear).

I’m cheap and dirty, too

October 28th, 2008 @ 5:20 pm | Comments (2)
Filed: Inappropriate things people say to me, My glamourous life, Philly | Tags:

I returned from a several day-long business trip to find this on my computer monitor. At least I still have 2.5 years until I have to pass it on! (Unless someone slightly older than me joins the company before July 30, 2011.)

Which, wow. Two and a half years doesn’t really seem that far away, but 2011 does.

Thank you to everyone who voted in my poll and shared your favorite books. In case you’re wondering what I did, it was a combination of number one and number 4. I wiped it off, moved it toward my lips, paused to consider the possible ramifications, recapped it, and surveyed the internet. Then I sprayed it with antibacterial spray and used it a few days later. So far, so good.

But have you ever NEEDED lip balm/gloss and you don’t have any? My lands! That bus ride was one of the longest of my life. My lips were burning. I thought I had a back up tube somewhere in the dark recesses of my purse, but no amount of excavating unearthed it.

And now, the moment you’ve all been waiting for.

Will be posted soon. I’m waiting to hear back from the winner…

It’s a Pomderful Life

October 22nd, 2008 @ 9:25 pm | Comments (1)
Filed: Inappropriate things people say to me, My glamourous life | Tags:

It was during my grandfather’s funeral nearly 5 years ago that I noticed how much gray hair my cousin Timmy had. He would have only been about 25 and I hadn’t seen him in a couple years. (He’s a product of divorce whose mother used him as a pawn. But that’s another story.) The buzz cut he sported emphasized that his dark hair was much more salt than pepper. By this point in my life I was already coloring my hair, but it was a half-hearted exercise in vanity to cover the smattering of silver strands rather than a necessity.

It figures the only trait I picked from my father’s tall, thin, tanned  gene pool was the tendency to gray early. It’s kind of sad when you have more gray than your mother.

Because I’m so much taller than most everyone else, it’s easy to get a few extra days between colorings - not many can see the top of my head. At least when I stand. While sitting at my desk yesterday, my coworker Ukie came to talk to me.

“Pom, what do you… Oh! Your hair! Why it so gray? You so young!” she said. (She’s Ukrainian.) “Is it because of your family?”

“Yes, Ukie. It is because of my family,” I said. “But also because of comments like this. It’s like that movie - every time I get insulted, a hair loses its pigment.”

Which reminds me I have another story from Clarion to share. As I walked into the decrepit “fraternity” house for the homecoming pig roast, a “pledge” greeted me.

“Who are you?” he asked.

“I’m Pom, Shazaam’s sister,” I said.

“Oh, OK. I just wanted to meet everyone’s parents,” he said.

“But, but I’m not a parent. I just told you I’m Shazaam’s sister.”

“Oh, well you could be a parent. I could be a parent.”

“Yes, but not to a college student,” I said.

Then he returned to making Jello for the upcoming Jello wrestling. Only, instead of chilling the Jello to let it set, he dumped the boiling gelatin into a blow up baby pool that was filled with detritus from nearby trees and sitting in the hot sun. Something (aka Shazaam) tells me he’s not the brightest bulb on the Christmas tree.

Jaw Dropping

October 6th, 2008 @ 9:11 pm | Comments (3)
Filed: Inappropriate things people say to me, My glamourous life | Tags:

I have a tendency to say things, things that don’t come out right and perhaps if I took a minute to think before I open my mouth, I would not get in so much trouble. I try to be a generally nice person, honestly, but sometimes my snarky side comes out and sometimes people just do or say stupid things. There’s also instances when my brain doesn’t work fast enough, so I just say something to fill that gap of silence. For instance, I once asked a woman if her sister-in-law was her mother-in-law. Oops.

This weekend, my college homecoming was not only one of the best homecomings ever but also one of the most fun weekends of my life. I spent lots of time with my youngest sister, who is now 21, her boyfriend, his fraternity brothers, and my best friend from Virginia. Time gets in the way of our long distance friendship. It makes me sad that we don’t call each other often and that she stood me up in San Antonio last January. But this weekend reinforced our friendship and we have awesome stories that could only happen in Clarion.

However, comment karma got me, and it got me bad.

I was sitting on my sister’s boyfriend’s “fraternity house” (air quoted because his fraternity officially lost its charter and campus recognition so the members formed a new, co-ed social club) porch when a alumnus from my years in Clarion, who I didn’t remember, approached us.

“You look like a prude,” he said. “I’m not even going to try to hit on you, because I don’t think you’ll have sex with me.”

I’m not sure what said prude, whether it was my bored expression or the turquoise argyle cardigan, pearls and jeans I was wearing. Or that I didn’t volunteer to Jello-wrestle. I was able to laugh it off because I honestly wouldn’t have had sex with him. And not because I’m a prude.

Well played, karma. I’m going to file this under a new category: Inappropriate things people say to me. It’ll fill up quickly because I have at least one more story to tell from this weekendd.