archives: March 2010
I want to quit the bus
March 8th, 2010 @ 9:46 pm | Comments (0)
Filed: My glamourous life, Philly | Tags:
The Erin Express was described to me a couple years ago as one of the best experiences of the describer’s life. The tale included a detailed account of finding her boyfriend by a Dumpster eating a bag of bread.
So what is the Erin Express? A free bus, sponsored by about 15 Philadelphia Irish bars, that runs in loop between all the bars for 5 hours.
I’m always up for a legendary experience but this was the first year my schedule allowed for shamrocking shenanigans. My sister and some of her friends met up with some of my friends in the Art Museum area for a day of debauchery. While it had all the makings of awesome, we quickly quit the Erin Express for a couple of reasons:
* Bud Light bottles at the first bar were $5. Sure, they were green, but they were Bud Light.
* The bus ride from hell. Yes, it was free. But we probably could have walked from Fairmount to University City quicker than the hour-plus we were trapped on the school bus. God bless the woman who had the unfortunate task of chauffeuring rowdy, green-clad, drunk people all around Philadelphia. I’m sure there was a specific route she had to take but that route did not make any sense at all, hence the hour long ride and the screaming match between the driver and a spoiled, drunk brat.
* I’m old. Age is just a number but I think there comes a point where you need to stop trying to drink as much as possible as early as possible. I’ve reached that point.
* Too many butt cheeks. Ladies, not a classy look at all.
So we quit the bus and made our own tour of Philadelphia. First up, hibachi. Then super cheap drinks at Tavern on Broad followed by more cheap drinks at Jolly’s piano bar.
At Jolly’s I figured out why I’m single.
I started talking about the exercise recovery benefits of chocolate milk and he mentioned that that’s probably a healthier (and safer) way to recover than his current recovery food.
Two raw eggs.
Because it was good enough for Rocky.
And then I almost fell off my barstool laughing.
It wasn’t until running along Kelly Drive this afternoon that I remembered I recently told a different guy I was thinking about going to law school.
Because of Legally Blonde.
