archives: January 2010
Easy as 1-2-3
January 15th, 2010 @ 9:56 am | Comments (1)
Filed: Uncategorized | Tags:
My mom has always been a counter when it comes to child discipline. She could put the fear of God in my sisters and me with the first “Wwww” before going on to nnne. (Because she liked to let anticipation build.) Which is why I couldn’t help but laugh when she was trying to discipline my nephew D.
“D, pick up your toys now.”
“No.”
“Pick them up, please.”
“No.”
“D, wwwwwwwwone… twwwwwooo-”
“Three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine!”
He hasn’t quite mastered ten.
Suffice it to say he didn’t pick up his toys.
The Clampetts go to Farmville
January 6th, 2010 @ 9:31 pm | Comments (1)
Filed: Cows, My glamourous life | Tags:
Scene: Two of my sisters and I are sitting on our parents’ couch, laptops warming our knees. Dad enters.
(Background: My dad can maybe turn off a computer, he usually just pulls the plug. Although there was that one time, like 10 years ago, he really enjoyed playing pinball.) (Also, my dad has a disposition similar to Red from “That ’70s Show.”)
Dad: What ARE you doing?
Us, in unison: Playing Farmville.
Dad: What?
Me: Farmville. It’s a computer farming game.
K: You plant crops, milk cows, earn money.
Dad: You idiots. We have 150 REAL acres out there. Go farm for real.
Me: But we don’t get smelly farming on Facebook. And it’s much warmer in here.
(Aside: You make way more money for your cows’ milk on Farmville than you do in real life. And I don’t think anyone makes pink tractors. By the way, brown cows don’t produce chocolate milk, nor do pink cows make strawberry milk.)
